First Touch
The day after we brought them home, we decided to separate the babies into their own pens. They had recently been weaned and we noticed that little Rose was trying to nurse on Ruger-roo’s more sensitive areas, if you catch my drift. We used a panel to squeeze shoot one of them into a separate pen. After they were all separated, my sister sat in Rugers pen, my mom sat in Rose’s, and I planted myself in Remi’s. Now here is where you get to test the limits of your patience. So the game plan was to get them comfortable with us being in the smaller pens with them. Once you get past the mental block that they are going to kick you in the head or just plain run over the top of you, the first step is to sit on the ground in the pen, and hold very still for about 30 minutes. Then, If your very lucky, they might come up and sniff you. At this point, you also have to be prepared for the corresponding spook-away that comes with them touching you for the first time. One thing that’s very important here, is to not move at all. Believe me it’s mentally exhausting for the humans using this method. Now, if you have a curious mustang they might come over after a few minutes and start nibbling, biting, rubbing on you etc. I wore a thick Carhartt jacket, so they could nibble and pull on it without me worrying about getting pinched by their teeth. It is so much better for the horses mental well-being to give them the time and courage they need to touch you. If you can let them be curious, they are going to be more willing to try again in the future when scary things are presented to them.
Ruger was easy, he was comfortable getting faces rubs on day one. Rose was determined she was wild and would never let anyone touch her. My mom would stand in a corner and she would pace the fence opposite, never looking her way. It took about a week before Rose would allow a human to touch her and enjoy it.
Remi was an entirely different story. She was a member of the Sulphar HMA, known to be extremely reactive, sensitive, and difficult to train. At the time, I had no knowledge about the different HMA’s until about 2 weeks later, when I found a Facebook group dedicated to them, where everyone agreed Sulphar HMA members were a literal pain in the a**. With Remi, I would stand in the corner just inside the gate, while she spun in circles away from me.
If I sat down she would stop spinning but stand as far away as possible and blow at me. Looking at her was also BIG no-no, so I started wearing sunglasses to hide my eyes. It took a week and a half of sitting in her pen for 45 minutes to an hour everyday before she came near enough to touch the tip of my boot. It took even longer for her to get used to my legs being lengthened out, even with my back against the fence, sunglasses on my face, and a hat angled towards the ground to hide most of my face. I fell asleep more often than I would like to admit.
Fast forward 3 weeks, and I can barely touch Remi, even though I spent at least 40 hours, at this point, just sitting in her pen. Sometimes she would come over to me if I sat down, waited about five minutes, and she would start licking my hands. That part was a bit unsettling at first, I had never had a horse just sit there and lick for minutes on end, usually they attempt to bite you a some point, but Remi never did. I could sometimes rub up her forehead but not down her sides and not on her neck. Ruger by this point was leading and could pick up his feet and stand for you to catch him. He discovered that he likes a good butt scratch and humans are actually OK to be around. Rose started to lead a little bit, you could touch and rub on her most days. She did have the occasional “wild” days, when she forgot everything we taught her, and could not stand the sight of my mom. I was getting frustrated with the lack of progress Remi compared to the two younger horses. I had to tell myself, more than once, that we all learn at different speeds, and her age would make her more difficult to teach. At least she was letting me touch her, even if it is only a tiny bit, and that is much better than her spinning terrified in the corner.
Finally, after 4 ½ agonizing weeks, my truck was running again! I could hitch my trailer up and use horse panels for a run from Remi’s pen to my trailer. With a halter and some brushes in the backseat we traveled to the local fairgrounds, where I planned to run Remi into the bucking shoots and put a halter and lead on her. All went well and once she was in the shoot I began at her head (where it was ok to touch) and slowly worked down her body. She didn’t jump or rear but gave a few good snorts. After a constant stream of baby-talking; “that’s a good lady, it’s alright now kid”, and “you’re a smart chick” along with other similarly phrased girl-power quotes, she calmed right down. I was able to work on the dreadlocks in her mane and tail, never ceasing with the mushy talk. Right before I let her loose I put the halter on her face, which was met with a wild-eyed stare and head tosses, but I was quick and let her have space to calm down again. I loaded her back into the trailer, took her home and called it a productive day.
This is how I spent my first month or two with Remi; slowly, slowly, building Remi’s trust and waiting. Waiting is something I have a hard time with, since I am a go-getter. Just sitting still for hours a day, over course of a few weeks, was one of the hardest experiences I had to endure with horses at that point of my life. Instant gratification is a part of the foundation in today’s society, but I am thankful that I was able to push through and wait. If I didn’t have the patience, I would have never experienced the immense joy of Remi sniffing my face, playing with my hair or licking my hand. All seemingly little things, but watching a terrified, reactive, stubborn horse grow into something calmer, and understanding, is hugely rewarding.